The "not so" ugly Shoelace.

In the land of the blind she’s the one with a stethoscope, spectacles, white overall and a huge ass syringe …coming your way …be scared. be very scared 😛 ….

yes she is none other than our very own Ugly Shoelace…. the Lara croft in white overalls 😛 ….

If you are stupid …you will get to know u are … no two ways about it ….

If you are not stupid ..then u are not the one to decide that 😛 …. wake up to the real world 😛 she does….

she will leave u pondering whether her syringe hurts more or her words….. but she uses both to heal you from the insane level of human oddity that you have become…trust me ….:P

I sometimes wonder how does she ever survive this whirlwind of a storm called humanity….but she does…. and oh yeah …she is emotionally dead …so probably that explains it… :P…

I may not be a very good employee in her opinion …. but who can question her ? No one messes with the pathaan 😛 …. don’t agree? I would love to watch you try 😛 …. no go ahead…try 😛 ..I dare ya 😛 …

*gets pop corns and coke* 😛

She would comment on my blog like once in a million years….. shows that she actually likes me 😀 …… and saves me from her barrage of words that other so often become a victim of 😛 ….

I would very much like to adopt her though…..

pardon?

Her blog (http://pistaye.wordpress.com/) … click at ur own risk 😛 why ? She sees dead people thats why … 😛

The Stone Age Perception

sofi: “…so I don’t think people can order things online in Pakistan….”

Me: (while watching braveheart’s original DVD ordered through amazon.com) …No… We still live in stone age in Pakistan.

Tinkoo laughs out loud.

Sofi gives her a stare….

Sofi and my love for Man"kind?"

Sofi thinks I am not very social.

(Sofi, by the way, is another of my friends…)

“you need to go out more” says she.

“why” was my blank answer as I did not make any attempt of looking away from my laptop screen.

“are you even listening to me you lazy toad”

She gets furious quickly. She is famous for her flying tempers. Scoopy is usually very scared of her.

“I am yar I am…. ” my eyes still on the laptop.

she slams the lid closed and gives me a long hard stare.

“You’ll die alone you know that” she exclaimed.

“well I have no intention of killing a dozen others while I die” I solemnly replied  (A list of 12 or so people went through my head which I wouldn’t surely mind killing though)

“plus why would u think such a thing  sofi ?” I finally looked at her since the lappy lid was closed.

“because you hate going out … what is your problem with mankind??” she was in full swing.

“ahh well…. I like mankind.. hell I love it…. its just that….its the people I can’t stand ” I innocently replied.

“aaarggghhhhhh ….” she smacked the same laptop on my head …. *THUD*…..

I watched the milky way gather around me as I fell into the darkness…..

Scoopy

say hello to scoopy 😛

He is a bit too obsessed by Gerard Butlers Sparta.

I am no body’s trophy.

Scoopy: Why do girls always go for the bad boys? (he was clearly disappointed by his single status)

Me (while munching my McRoyale): its obvious why they do.

Scoopy: ahan? how so ?.

He gets closer, anxiously wanting to listen to my explanation about the dilemma he was facing.

Me: Well girls love to fix things. They need to fall for those bad boys because they believe they can fix their flaws and make them good boys. They are chasing the trophies I tell you. There is nothing more satisfied than a girl who has his man trained and domesticated. 😛

Scoopy’s eyes go wide. He shook his head in excitement as if he had solved the mystery of the Bermuda triangle.

Me: They don’t fall for you because there is nothing to fix in you. You are a good decent bloke who lives his life with sense and maturity (I had to find a reason now  come on 😛 )

Scoopy: Ooooh Raaiighhht!…. So in order to change my relationship status from single to committed I need to be come a “bad Boy”.

Me: *sipping my extra large Coke*  *burp*…. That seems the case Scoopy. Its the Only way.

Scoopy: HMmmmmm (gives out a thoughtful hmmmm as he ponders while looking at thin air. )

*A minute passes by*

Scoopy: well how come you are single? *he gives me an inquisitive look *

Me: *Carelessly throwing the food paper bag in the corner * … Coz scoopy … I am nobody’s Trophy!.

WorkLoad?

The poor guy started crying. I guess I just gave him a little too much work to do. How cruel of me.

ah well…. All in a days work 🙂

Milk man

I think I am in love with my doodh wala (milk man)….He runs a shop in the near by pond so I go buy it everyday from him.

You must be wondering what is so special about him.

Well….. The thing is I simply go and stand there. Mind you there are no lines and people just jump over each other to get milk….. Chaos…. that is how it happens on most shops.

On the contrary he just knows everyone’s turn. People yell and scream and try to hop over each other. He pays no heed to them. Just takes orders from the person he knows is the one next.

Eventually everyone has started to realize their hopping is futile. Scoopy was the biggest culprit. He thinks there is a conspiracy behind this doodh wala and he is probably working for Israel, India or most probably USA. We never really have to justify our theories as long as they are perfectly sensible to us. *sigh*……

so I stand there and when my turn comes he simply looks at me and says “han jee kitna” (how much milk) and then he fetches milk and off i go. No chaos, no panic.

Like I said. I think i am in love with my milk man ( it may not be entirely non gay) 😛  scoopy is jealous :p haha

Scoopy Likes.

so I log on to my facebook the other day and i am hopping (scrolling) through the feeds. I come across one from scoopy. it said .

“Scoopy likes Prophet Mohammad and sonu niggam”

😐 …

I am at loss of words really 😛

PS: this is a true event. The names have been changed for user privacy :p.

Knowledge

Scoopy: Oye do u know how a lipstick tastes like??

Toad: *looks at him *… Dude if I knew …I would have been a prince by now !

Scoopy nods thoughtfully* “Hmmm” 

Ambitious ….

Me: I want to do something rebelious

Scoopy: Why ?

Me: I just do. I feel like it.

Scoopy: What do you want to do ?

Me: Protest in the streets, write rebelious articles, become a tv reporter freelance or something… Anything.

Scoopy: COOOL!…but Then what ?

Me: well then i’ll get a real job someday…

Scoopy: Ooo sounds like a plan….

and we resumed with our cheetos and coke while we sat in our cool pond house …..